Exclusive Interview - A 4 Month Old's Thoughts on the GOP Debate

So with this post I am deviating away from the norm of writing about my son and am instead interviewing my son on his thoughts about the recent Republican debate. Our apologies for it being a couple days late, we kept having to reschedule around nap time. Keep in mind that he is only four months old, so his political views may not be as developed as some of you out there. I asked him about the candidates and here were his exact words:

Trump: "First off, you have to hand it to a guy who still tries to pull off the comb over. I like to have goals for myself. My new goal after the debate is to behave better by the age of 3, than Donald Trump currently behaves himself. I believe this to be a very reachable goal for myself. I imagine my whining may rival Trump's at moments in my life, but at least I will have being a toddler in my favor. Also, give credit to Trump for the best quote of the evening, 'What I say is what I say.' Amen.'"

Christie: "Did the man lay in a tanning bed too long before the debate? I wasn't aware a human could look orange. That was a nice touch though, talking about all the people he's hugged. I'm sure he meant every one of them. No way he did it so he could later bring it up in a political debate so that he could make himself look good. Who would ever do something just for show to look good?"

Bush: "The man's name is Jeb. I think that pretty much sums it up. He was in Florida for a few years though so he might be able to rival Christie's orange glow given enough time."

Carson: "I know Dad that this is your favorite candidate, but is putting a brain surgeon in the White House really the best idea? I mean it would totally destroy the joke, 'Being the President isn't brain surgery'.... Because with Carson it might be! It's not a good joke, but still, you couldn't make it anymore. If I was going to go out on a limb here, my guess is that he has a slight smarts edge over Jeb, ever so slight."

Paul: "You have to applaud a grown man who still has a perm. That's just an excellent show of effort with not much show of style.But hey, as long as he keeps the government off my diaper-phone, I can live with the curls."

Rubio: "Marco Polo is one of my favorite games to play in the pool.... That was my thought about Marco....Polo."

Kasich: "Two things, who is he?? And with me still having no teeth, this name is nearly impossible to say."

Huckabee: "The man was the Governor of Arkansas, not a whole lot I can say at this point that will help his case any."

Cruz: "Ever heard of Florida-Georgia Line? They have a song called Cruz."

Walker: "I know he is from up north, which means every person is the South is like, 'I'll pass'."

As you can tell, nap time started creeping up on us toward the end of the interview. Oh well, babies and their schedules. As you can also tell, my four month old doesn't take politics too seriously.

Welcome to the mind of a four month old.

Somewhat Unexpected Happenings

Well, it's been a couple of months since I've posted anything. Nate looks like he has doubled in size, so good for him, that won't always be acceptable, so he should enjoy it while he can. So what are some things that have happened that I wasn't totally prepared for? Plenty.

1) The child spews liquid like a sprinkler at a summer birthday party. I mean, after a bottle, be careful not to shake him because you will pay dearly for it. I guess he always feels better afterwards, which is good. I hope he grows out of this stage, because you hit a point in life, where spewing your meal after eating too much, is no longer "cute." Nobody is going to walk up to me at the Mexican restaurant and say, "Poor Baby", because I spit up my chips and salsa all over myself. Enjoy it while it lasts buddy.

2) People told me my days of peaceful, sleep filled nights were over. I didn't believe all I heard, it couldn't be that bad..... I'm tired. I'm tired and I don't even get up at nights to feed or change him. The kid needs to learn how to sleep 8 hours straight. We would be more than happy to teach him this valuable skill.

3) I don't have a weak stomach. I am not a very squeamish person. But I was changing a diaper the other day, and I about couldn't make it through the process. Have you ever smelled something that just made the back of your eyelids burn? It's a tremendous sensation, you should try. Just let me know when you want to experience this, and we'll feed Nate some applesauce.

4) On a more serious note, it's hard to fathom just how much I love that kid. He always seems to be smiling (mostly), I can't wait to get home every day to see him, and Ashley too of course. I can't even really remember what life was like before Nate, I do remember it was quieter. But I wouldn't trade this for anything.

The Hidden Talent of the Giant among... Most Babies

Well, Nate is now past the two week old stage. His two week check-up was good, slightly traumatic for Ashley and I since he had to get his tongue clipped, but all good other than that. The doctor said Nate is in the 90th percentile in length, they just grow up so fast don't they? He was pretty much average in all the other measurements so I don't feel the need to mention them. But in length, he's a giant among babies.... Or at least among 90% of all babies.

Of course as he grows older, I won't care about his height as much, until he either 1) grows to my height or 2) grows to be about 7 feet tall. Then we may be looking into basketball a little more. But until then, he can stay little as long as possible.

As I sit here and type this, he's sitting in his rocker next to me and 'm pretty sure he's working on a dirty diaper. Not positive, but it would not surprise me because this kid is a machine. I never would have thought a person this small could have that much stuff in them. He seems to have a hidden talent, that's not so secret anymore.

While he's in here I usually sit and watch baseball, if I'm watching anything. Maybe in a few years he will be able to sit here and enjoy watching baseball with me. Or, maybe he will still be taking naps during baseball games. Or even more likely, I will be napping. But for now, baseball seems to be a great nap generator....

Sleep good little guy, won't be much longer til the next diaper change gets that little temper of yours going again. Maybe Momma will do it.

The Baby Birthing Week

Well, one way or the other, they tell us this is the week Nate will be making his first appearance. These 9 months have seemed so long, but at the same time, they have flown by. My wife may think it's been a little on the slow side. We've seen some of the 3-D pictures they can take and let me tell you, he's got some big ole cheeks. Looks like he may be a little on the chunky side, so he should fit right in at our house. (I am referring to only myself of course)

We like to laugh and joke about Nate and how fast he will be doing things. I think the latest goal was to have him running laps by about 6 months. Pretty sure he's going to be playing catch with me within the next couple of weeks. I figure he won't start mowing the yard until he's at least 4 or 5, I mean, gotta let him stay little for a while right? All kidding aside, I'm sure he will grow up wayyy too fast, but I'm just glad I get to be a part of the experience.

Ashley insists Nate will never play soccer, ever. I believe the plan is to avoid all things soccer like the plague. So, if y'all really want to make things interesting, introduce Nate to soccer. Just don't let his mom know.

Ashley has also decided that Nate and Carrie Underwood's baby are clearly future BFF's. Apparently his name is Isaiah Michael Fisher, for those of you who enjoy random factoids. We shall wait and see, but I have my doubts about this plan.

Because I haven't said this enough I shall say it again, We cannot wait for Nate to be here! I really don't fully know what to expect, but I'm sure I will quickly become very informed. I just pray that God keeps Nate and his Mom safe and healthy through everything to come.

They tell me that the father doesn't get drugs during delivery, hopefully I don't become the exception  to the rule.

Lessons for Nate from Cinderella.... (Yes, you read that right)

My wife asked me today if we could go see the movie Cinderella as our final pre-child date. Well almost the final, we were planning on going grocery shopping at some point over the weekend, but I'm not sure if that counts.

The movie was a total chick flick so it would not have been one of my first choices under normal circumstances, such as if there was another option to watch anything else. There was even a short of Frozen played. I have never had so much testosterone drained so quickly from my body in all my life. But, my wife enjoyed the movie, so that's what is important to me.

The movie did have a recurring theme that I was impressed with, Have Courage, Be Kind. As I was thinking about this post, I thought those are two things that I hope Nate will learn to have in his life.

I hope we can teach him to have the courage to stand for what is right, even when you feel like you may be standing alone, like Elijah. I hope he will have courage in situations, even when he may be afraid. Courage doesn't mean not being afraid, courage means doing the right thing, even when you are afraid. Courage is something that is severely lacking in our world today. Too many people make decisions that aren't right, they choose the easy path. Having courage means that you will take the path less traveled.

Being kind is something that is not very common today, even among Christians sadly. I have seen Christians far too many times react in a less than kind way to a matter that was inconvenient to them, not even a major issue. I am sure I have acted in a less than kind way many times myself. Being kind can be a daily struggle. I hope I can teach my son that we as Christians, are to be kind to others, even the people who don't treat us the way we would like to be treated, or they didn't fix our car the right way, or they messed up our order when they brought out our food, whatever the situation may be.

Nate will hopefully be born very soon, we can hardly wait for his arrival. If he could be born and have his mother's ability to sleep, that would be absolutely fantastic!

Baby Birthing Class: Night Two

Night two of birthing class was not NEARLY as eventful as night one, sorry to disappoint all of you. We did get to learn about some wonderful things though, such as all the drug options Ashley will have available to her. Sadly, there are no drugs for the father.

One of the options available is an epidural, which is basically a large needle (which we will get to shortly) is inserted into the fluid in the spine and helps her to deal with pain. As lovely as I'm sure this is to witness, I am not looking forward to seeing it happen.

The needle..... Where to begin. Have you ever watched Animal Planet? Have you ever noticed when they have to capture an animal, what they use to put it to sleep? The word of the day: Tranquilizer Dart. That's basically what this is. Now, I seriously doubt they are going to sneak up on Ashley and pop her in the back with a tranquilizer, but you get the idea of the size of the needle. I'm sure all of you who don't like needles are as comfortable as can be right now. You are most welcome.

Just as a side note, I googled images for an epidural needle to add here. I don't advise looking that up. Most unpleasant sights in your near future if you do.

It was a good class and informative and I'm sure Ashley and I will be able to take what we learned and use it. Ashley mentioned to me yesterday that this is the month that Nate could make his grand appearance. He could, or he could wait around another month or so. She doesn't like that as much though. But I'm sure that he will show up when he is ready..... We are sure ready for him to be here!

Baby Birthing Class: Night 1

Tonight was the first night of our birthing classes, in case you're wondering, no, this wasn't my idea. It was.... an interesting experience to say the least. I wasn't really sure what to expect going in, but I quickly learned some things that I would say are burned into my brain.

Speaking of something being burned into your brain, try this out:

Ah, the joys of learning how to become a mother.... I mean father! All kidding aside, I couldn't imagine walking around like this all the time for months. It really helps me appreciate being a male.

Some things we learned were common sense, like if fluids start to leak, it's time to head to the hospital. I generally try to follow this advice in my own personal day-to-day life so that made sense. There were quite a few other things as well but I will spare you the details.

We got to take a test of random pregnancy facts, I believe we made a solid 20%. Which the couple sitting next to us made them same, so at least we will fail together. We did positively identify what a bed pan looks like so if there is ever a situation where you need a bed pan identified, I'm your man.

Then we got to watch a lovely video about the labor and delivery process. I went into tonight never having witnessed a birth, I have now seen four. I think they could go ahead and hand me the diploma for this class because there wasn't much left out.

Tonight also made me aware of my primary job in this process, time keeper and cheerleader. I feel fairly confident about my role thus far. But after next week's class, my confidence may begin to sway.

Overall, I can't wait for Nate to get here. We've been waiting for what seems like forever now, but I guess he will show up on his own time. But I hope it's soon, Mama is starting to get a bit cranky at times..... Hurry up Nate! Your parents can't wait to meet you!

First Thoughts

When my wife, my beautiful, incredibly intelligent wife Ashley, although she did marry me so the intelligence part is debatable at times...... Anyway, when she told me that we were going to have a baby, I didn't really know what to say. I mean I was thrilled of course, but I also thought, "Am I actually old enough to be a dad?" I mean, at the ripe old age of 23, I was still on my 15th year of college. Only 5 actual years, but it felt like 15 years.

I still don't really know what to really think about becoming a dad. I usually try and prepare myself on how I will react in a certain situation. But having no experience as a dad, I have nothing to pull from to prepare myself for being a father. So, because of my inexperience with this situation, I have caused my wife to believe there must be something wrong with me.

Let me explain by using a few examples. Last night, my wife and I were asleep and I felt her hitting me on my arm. I woke with a start and instantly starting asking, "What's wrong? What's wrong??" My wife just says, "I rolled over." I replied, "Didn't you hit my arm to wake me up?" I believe her reply was, "My bad." Once my heart rate dropped back to normal levels, I went back to sleep. Apparently, I have become an easily excited, paranoid person since I became a dad. My wife can't get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night without me waking up and asking if she's alright.

But Ashley's favorite story to tell is about Braxton Hicks. For those of you who are clueless like me, Braxton Hicks are the name of contractions that basically prepare the woman's body to pop out a baby. So now with your new found knowledge we can continue the story.

We are driving in the car and I heard Ashley say something about Braxton Hicks contractions. Now, at first, the only word I heard was contractions. And I thought, "This is it. This is your moment. Don't panic, just keep driving." Then I thought wait a minute.... And I asked my wife, "Who is Braxton Hicks? I thought we were calling the baby Nathaniel? You're just going to confuse the poor kid." Needless to say, I may never live that one down.

I have plenty to learn and I'm sure I will have plenty of stories along the way. I don't want to forget about anything because they only grow up once. Hopefully I can learn along the way as well...... But not too much, then I might have to start changing diapers or something.